Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Kindly Fluff Off: A Nerd Girl's Rant

So I realize that I haven't blogged anything in AGES, and maybe I'll get back to it, but just bear with me while I rant for a bit here.

Alright, so for the time being let's just cut the crap with the whole "you're a poser if you say you are ___" for a second, okay? I am a nerd. I like gaming. And I'm a girl. *gasp* Yeah I said it. I am a girl gamer. I am not, however, a "gamer girl." While the distinction might not make a difference to some, the "gamer girl" is a ridiculously stereotypical character that many associate with all girls who game, a character who only does so [or is thought to only do so] to seek attention from others.

This entry is not meant to be a cry out to everyone to pay attention to me and to love me because I'm just so "adorkable" and like, totes love gaming 24/7 like omg LOVEME. *gags* This post is just me, an actual nerdy person who enjoys gaming for the fun of it, ranting about how annoying it is to constantly be shadowed by the "gamer girl" stereotype.

1. Just because I like games and you (a guy) like games, does not mean I want to be with you. At all.

I get that on some occasions, the guys that approach nerdy girls could just be doing so because they notice that we might share similar interests. I get that. Like any other type of person, however, that does not automatically mean we're compatible. I don't owe you anything just because I like the same thing as you. MAYBE we could game sometime. Maybe. But only if we actually get along, alright? One of the main stereotypes of the Gamer Girl is that she's always seeking the attention of the opposite sex, desperate for them to notice her and fall in love with her 'cos she's so cute for liking gaming and such.

When I'm on break at college, I generally either work on homework or play games on my computer. About 8/10 times that I play games there (and my boyfriend isn't sitting next to me), some guy feels the need to cozy up to me, and gets offended when I'm not interested. I'm not rude to them, honestly. But if you touch me or my computer, and I don't know you (one guy came up from behind me and tried to play a part of my game because I was struggling in one part. seriously.), you can bet I'm not going to be super friendly toward you and want to go and play games at your house because-you-have-awesome-friends-who-like-the-same-game-and-it-would-be-fun-to-play-together-in-your-dark-creepy-basement. No. No thank you, kind sir. I just met you, and you're trying to start things by getting way too far into my personal bubble.

This is generally the situation:
Girl starts playing game. Guy sees game. Guy comes over. Guy sits uncomfortably close to girl. Guy possibly touches girl's computer. Guy makes girl take off headphones to hear him awkwardly flirt with her and says girl is pretty for someone who plays ____. Guy asks if girl wants to come over and game with him sometime. Girl politely declines. Guy calls girl a bitch and walks off. Girl gets annoyed and continues playing game.

I mean, if you don't want to talk to me just because I don't want to automatically hang out with you after a few minutes of you telling me everything you're interested in, then please, don't start talking to me. You're a complete stranger and I really don't owe you anything, so it's kind of rude.

2. I am NOT playing games for your attention.

I'm not going to say much here, except for this: I play games because I like playing the games I play. *gasp* I know, complicated concept, isn't it? If we like the same game, cool. We can talk about it. But do not expect that I'm going to automatically be all over you, and do not try to distract me during boss fights. Kthnxbye. ♪

3. "You're actually pretty for a girl who likes ____"

Is that actually supposed to be a compliment . . . ? I've heard variations of this a good handful of times, and in my opinion, that's too many.

I mean, thank you for saying that you think I'm pretty! But just because I like/do nerdy things and play games, does not mean I'm not allowed to care about my appearance. This one is probably one of the most annoying things. I'm not saying I'm drop-dead gorgeous or model material or anything, but I try to look my best, which apparently nerd girls are not allowed to do. I wear makeup and dresses and I do my hair and I like shoes and clothes. Sorry not sorry. I CAN LOOK HOWEVER I WANT TO THANK YOU. THAT DOESN'T MAKE ME ANY LESS INTELLIGENT OR MAKE ME ANY LESS OBSESSED WITH HARRY POTTER AND RPGS. I DON'T NEED TO LOOK LIKE A DIRTY TROLL AND SPEAK WITH A WHEEZY VOICE BECAUSE OF MY ASTHMA AND ALLERGIES.

(although I do have the last two ehehe ( ̄▽ ̄)ノ)

Because I do try to look presentable, however, a lot of people completely ignore the fact that I could be just a regular person with whatever-aspirations-I-so-desire underneath everything. More often then not, people are very surprised when they discover my interests, telling me that I don't look like someone who would like whatever it is. Who said girls that enjoy nerdy things can't desire to look nice? Not that there's anything wrong with being a nerd girl and not caring whatsoever, but stop assuming that's everyone, please.

Just yesterday (the main reason I'm writing this post), I was at a local (board) game store. Now, I hadn't honestly played that many board games before I started dating my current boyfriend, primarily because I didn't have anyone I knew who played them. But I really do enjoy them. I started playing Dungeons & Dragons a while ago (my character is an eladrin cosmic sorceress named Evanthe), and I've also come to enjoy many other board games.

Anyways, my boyfriend wanted to go to the store to look at a specific game (Smash Up), and I explored the store while he looked. I was mainly excited by the DnD figurines and the different types of paint and brushes they had (it's SUPER fun to paint those, they're so tiny so you have to be good with small details {which are my favorite kind of detail}).

My boyfriend found the game and several expansions, and we went to check out. I was standing by my boyfriend when one of the guys behind the counter said to me, "It's okay. My 17-year-old daughter doesn't like coming here either." I looked at him in confusion and told him that I did like it here, but he cut me off and went on to say that she always tell him not to tell anyone that she went there, which he can understand because it's embarrassing for a girl to be there.

I'm sure he didn't mean it maliciously or anything, but it was a bit annoying for him to automatically make assumptions about me. It was clear that by "girl," he didn't just mean female, because there was a female standing next to him (who had been ranting about how horrible dresses are to wear). My boyfriend and I had just gone out on a date, so I had my hair and makeup done and was wearing a cute outfit. I do understand that the stereotype doesn't include girls who like to do these sorts of things, but it's really annoying when people constantly make assumptions about how you are and what you like, and discredit you when your interests go against their assumptions. In this man's eyes, it seemed that I fit solely into the category of a girly-minded girly girl, and not much else.

4. Just because I'm a girl, that doesn't mean that I only like Facebook games like Farmville, or other games like Sims.

And even if I did, (personally I hate Farmville, but love Sims), that doesn't mean I'm reinforcing the stereotype. I just like what I like, so leave it at that, okie dokie? 

One day at college (again), I was playing Torchlight II, when a guy and his friends came to the same area I was sitting it. They were facing toward me, so they couldn't see what I was doing on my laptop. One of the guys would keep randomly talking to me, each time I would have to pause the game and take off my headphones to understand him. I was about to start a boss fight, so I (politely) told him that I was kind of busy with my game.

He laughed and asked me "What are you playing, Farmville or something?" I stared at him in disbelief, as while I had heard stories on the internet, I had never actually had anyone say something like that to me in real life. I told him that no, I was not playing Farmville as I despise that "game," and that I was playing Torchlight II. He looked at me and laughed again, replying "No really, what are you playing? I'm guessing your boyfriend plays Torchlight or something right?" I told him to come and look at my computer. He did, and when he saw that Torchlight II was indeed up and running he incredulously said "Oh s***.. you actually know your stuff, huh?" I nodded curtly, and he sheepishly went back over to his friends and hasn't spoken to me since.

Whelp. I think that's it for now. I might be back with more of this though, as such ridiculousness happens pretty frequently >->

But yeah. Basically, stop being such buttholes to people and look at them as black canvases when you first meet them, okay?

P.S. I'm not keeping my font like this, it just seemed easier to read with the large amount of writing on here ヾ(´・ω・`)

~ Ja, ne!! ♥